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The Letter I Never Wrote

by Rowan Rain

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1.
Widow's Walk 02:32
My man has gone again My man is gone again into her arms I know he craves her touch, he needs her breath, He loves her much more than anything And I know I can not swim, I can not breathe, I can not win Against her I can not compete for I am not complete Without him He kissed my tears of salt Do you think it's my fault He wanted more? Come back to me Come back from the sea
2.
I watched my mother's spine fall out Onto histories I hadn't figured out I was a child, and how could I have known - That a prince's kiss could be such a curse Carried like disease, making things much worse Did they know what they took from that little girl I talk too much - I am aware I've got so much to say, it's a bit much to bear I tried to shove the water back into the spout but it just poured right out I never knew what was wrong, no thanks to you But the children believed, as they've been known to do The lies felt fine before When they were harmless too Oh I, I hope they knew I was scared and small, It's no excuse But they thought it was fine Couldn't smell the abuse on my breath I'm so pretty and yet I have none of it left in the -- Endings bring beginnings, but I waited so long for the start I was never as bad as they all said I was Only now does it tear me apart Oh I'm so sorry for what was my fault Oh I'm so sore
3.
Dust 04:20
Ashes to ashes to dust Silver seems pretty until it has rust When buildings have crumbled away And blue skies have clouded with grey Flick the switch, turn off the sun It's far too bright out - no work can be done Why waste our time in the sands? When the thoughts that we're thinking are much too grand Don't cry and don't worry dear When things finally rot, you won't even be here Do all while you've still got the time Cause in the end there's no reason no rhyme Muscle and tendon and bone Can you remember the last time you felt at home What have you done to send them away? Mother, father, sister, brother - I just want to play Don't cry and don't worry dear When things finally rot, you won't even be here Do all while you've still got the time Cause in the end there's no reason no rhyme We all look for answers for questions unknown Time and time again Does it help us to feel better? Running through motions of things that we're told We all have to do Does it help you to feel safer? Ashes to ashes to dust Will you have anyone that you still trust? When buildings have crumbled away And blue skies have clouded with grey Don't cry and don't worry dear When things finally rot, you won't even be here Do all while you've still got the time Cause in the end there's no reason no rhyme
4.
10 of Coins 04:02
Ten coins are falling Through the lining of my pockets They spill out on the pavement Shining pictures of my profits I can't stop to catch them (Because I'm a busy woman) They know I'm counting minutes Til I grumble, til I want more Do they know? What's in store? More The coins look so delicious Little breadcrumbs that I'm dropping I'll miss them when I'm gone by god, But there's no point in stopping My belly aches with hunger Standing sleepless in the kitchen The coins keep singing softly As they slip out of my fingers to the floor I want more, I want more More If I leave them, will I find peace then? More Do I have no one I'm beholden to now? Ten coins are slipping Through the holes between the stitching I'll mourn them in the morning But for now I feel bewitching Oh, how they glitter as I litter them around me They make a pretty picture Maybe then I'll find a mister I can kiss And I miss him, already Bliss
5.
Cut me up into little pieces Gut me out and hang me up to dry Go ahead and tell me all my transgressions Sit with me a while, just like I sit with them Oh you stole my voice, you stole my kindness Colder than the day I burned my hair Cheeks flush pink, just like the blossoms on the cherry tree Can someone stay a while, just like they stay with me? Oh, I could never say this to you So I'll make do in the letter I never wrote Kiss me there, on the corner of my lips Sweeter than the four winds of the sky Soon now, the wolves are bound to howl soon South bound, in the space between my thighs Oh, I could never say this to you So I'll make do in the letter I never wrote I've got my coping mechanisms, just like the rest I do it for the picture in the corner So she can rest Oh, I could never say this to you So I'll make do, I'll make do Oh, I could never say this to you So I'll make do in the letter I never wrote
6.
I saw a man down by the shore He was so lovely, I want to see more I can just taste the salt on his lips But how can I kiss him when I'm in the grips of the sea? Come to me I've watched the man run to his home I know what it feels like when you're all alone Maybe one day I'll leave the cove I'll find the courage, slip out of my coat and begin A life all anew So can you help me my daughter, Help find my skin So I can swim I was afraid, but now that I'm here The winds aren't so cold, I don't have any fear When he sees me I'll ask for his love Everything's different up in the above I can feel his hands around me I'll follow the man back to his home I don't think he knows mine is under the foam A lover I'll take, and glad for it too But something is missing I long for the blue of the sea Come home to me So can you help me my daughter, Help find my skin So I can swim Where have you hidden me? (where have you hidden me?) Where have you hidden me? (where have you hidden me?) Where have you hidden me? I want to go home to the sea So can you help me my daughter, Help find my skin So I can swim
7.
It takes a trickle, trailing down your tongue To taste the blood And tell me how it feels to have the one You've loved so much Taken from you right before your eyes And yet they lie Or do you know better? It's not safe to wander in the woods Or so they say (but who are they anyways - ) Can get confused, the path construed I can help you find your way back home Is where the heart is -- When you're heartless, where do you stay? I can help, just come this way

about

I write songs to cope with and constructively process the things that happen to me to help further my growth as a human being

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released January 22, 2017

Produced by Adam Jackiewicz of NJ
Album art by Juliette Wallace
All music written and performed by (yours truly) Rowan Rain

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Rowan Rain Ireland

rhythmic & intuitive
dark water, starlight

rooted in an ancient world of folkloric magics, haunting dream folk woven with threads of hypnotic melody, poetic lyrics, and soulful storytelling

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